A Rotten Hangover would have been easier to get through!!!

Hangover 3!!

This is going to be one of the most challenging and difficult blogs to write.  I have been a loyal and devoted fan of the Hangover movies.  I laughed through a torturous drug induced bachelor party in Vegas, I enjoyed the following (drug induced) bachelor party in Bangkok, so naturally I was looking forward to Hangover 3, where the movie will take us briefly to Tijuana Mexico and then back to Las Vegas (Sin City).

They were their for a bit

The trailer has been repeatedly assuring loyal fans of Helm, Galifianakis and Cooper's return to sheer Hangover beauty.  However, the movie fails it's loyal fans in many ways and also offers very little from a writer's perspective.  The movie starts with Ken Jeong (also known as Chow, or Chang on the television series Community) escaping from a high security prison in Bangkok.

Bangkok prison 

He pulled a Tim Robbins in Shawshank Redemption and tunneled into a sewer system, then he ran like the fugitive he was and made a heroic dive towards a 100 foot fall.

Then we go to Alan (Galafianakis) driving down a California freeway with a Giraf in a pulled trailer.  Bragging and acting cocky, the viewer already knowing from the previews witnesses the Giraf get decapitated causing a massive accident.  A theme is starting to develop, the movie has taken on an American Pie trilogy approach that also failed, it makes Alan and Chow

My giraf just got decapitated!!

focal characters.  The comparison being the complete focus on Stifler and Finch.  As well, it sets up a fairly predictable, uninteresting and slapstick humor that suffers from poor writing and plot confusion.

Chow & Alan

Stifler and Finchmeister

Max Bialystock would have been proud because the Hangover 3 is a flop and much like "The Producers", one can make a lot of money by producing a flop.

Leo and Max producing Flops!!

Next, Alan is very uninterested in his father's anger towards the Giraf incident, which leads to a fatal heart attack while Alan is listening to music, thus the event that will unite our party trio at his funeral.  Again, the surprise of a splendid opera voice singing quite romantically leads us to the predictable trailer moment of it being Alan singing.

Apparently Alan has been off his meds for six months and concerned family and friends need to get him some help in a Arizona based mental health facility.  The idea is that they will drive there setting up a non-hangover scenario, but a case where old decisions will come back to haunt this group.  Phil deciding he is gonna be in attendance makes Alan yell in a very crazy, weird and happy way, which sets up the barrage of terrible Alan in love with Phil jokes.

As there vehicle get's rammed of the road by John Goodman (Marshall)

John Goodman (Marshall)

Black Doug 

and Mike Epps (Black Doug - head of security and the original drug dealer that got the original; hangover started in Vegas with roofies), the trio are attacked, have bags placed over there heads and are explained by Goodman, why they have been selected as targets of criminal activity.

The long winded explanation that aims at connecting all three hangovers creates an unreal scenario that will create the opportunity to briefly see Tijuana.  What made this scene hard to sit through was the continued reminiscing explaining to the audience why exactly we are currently sitting through another Hangover, where their is no alcohol at this point.

In Part 1, we are introduced to a character named Leslie Chow

Leslie Chow (Super-hero)

by him leaping naked out of the trunk of car onto Phil, hilarity ensues when Chow kicks their ass mixed with the confused reactions of the trio.  The audience is also wondering who the hell that was, but the action tells us something occurred and that we will see him again.  The explanation and descriptive analysis by Marshall was for lack of better terms predictable and uninteresting, it took to much of the wonderment out of the script.

Again, Doug is selected by Marshall as a hostage until he get's his 22 million of stolen golden bars that Chow impersonating a police officer was able to steal.  Episode 1: Doug on the roof, Episode 2: Doug get's lame and stays at resort, Episode 3: Doug held hostage.

Doug goes AWOL again

The movie then continues with the most hilarity coming from Phil's and Stu's reaction to the rather problematic and strange lifestyle of Alan.  Stu continues to freak out at every moment or shift in the adventure, Alan is starting to make fun of Stu (even implying he should be picked as a hostage instead of Doug) and admiring Phil to an uncomfortable level; finally and Phil has a relaxed, confident and almost veteran understanding of all the criminal activity that is about to happen.

Eventually, we see Tijuana for a few moments and Chow makes an appearance.  Now Leslie Chow is not the same gang leader as before, he has formed a pen pal relationship with Alan and has the qualities of an independant superhero as he tricks the trio into assisting him to kidnap the other 22 million from Marshall.  However, Marshall being rich lacks any form of security protecting his 22 million dollars, which sits behind a weak wall that Chow knows exactly where everything is.  Naturally, the newly formed superhero Chow ditches the trio and takes the 22 million equaling all 44 million from Marshall.  Someone must pay and that someone is Black Doug.

The mission now is simple, track down Chow and get the 44 million
, or as Marshall states "I am into killing Doug\s today" implying that their best friend Doug, who they want to give a best friend hug, will die.  This leads the trip to trace Phil's cell phone to their stolen mini-van in (you guessed it) Las Vegas.  This sets up Stu jokes on how he would never go back to Sin City.  The Van is located in front of a money for gold store and questions about Chow begins.  The lady working is uninterested until Alan seduces her, licks a sucker and then provides some sucker for the women.  Stu gags again (maybe 4th time), Phil maintains and awkward look (maybe 10th time) and Alan's fantasy thought is broken by the crunching of the sucker.

At this point, it was an hour and 20 mins into the movie and I was getting less and less interested, knowing that I should be prepared to revisit all the former characters that graced part 1, I decided to leave the movie.  I am glad I did because after reading the ending, it sounds chaotic and to unrealistic. It was painful to see Cooper, Helm, Galifianakis and Jeong type cast into roles that were overplayed, predictable and lacking a character consistency.  It was painful to watch a story, where the main highlight was when surprise cocks attacked the trio because they were fed crack and chicken.

I was not impressed

Todd Philips (Director) 

with Hangover 3, a money making flop that aims at box office results, but not delivering a wild chaotic party experience that makes the viewer want to escape reality and grab a piece of the painful looking hangover.  The detective nature of part 1 & 2 are gone, the constant thought of piecing together a crazy night was gone.  I stifled a few chuckles, but nothing offered a real comedic relief, the same old belly hurting laughter that we witnessed in parts 1 & 2.  Enjoy your money Todd Philips, I just hope they found their best friend Doug and naturally gave him a best friend hug.

I would not pay the money to view this in the theater, might be more okay if it is viewed at home off of your Netflix account, that is why we pay 8 dollars a month, so we can stop watching when the writing loses it's focus.

Till next time,

Roy Pogorzelski

Craziness

Currently, as I write a blog post about my last 24 hours, I am sitting in the sky city lounge at the Stockholm Arlanda Airport sweating and trying to stay awake.  The jet leg is sinking in and I still have about 8 hours left in my trip to Northern Sweden, a long wait time has me sitting in the airport for another 4
hours before I fly to Vilhelmina in the North of Sweden.

I have been through this before, the jet leg, feeling your body adjust to increasing drowsiness.  Internal organs deciding to give it the old college try, while you shove another sandwich into a digestive system that is screaming for a little piece and quite, not to mention the airport food.

It started okay, my mother drove me to the airport in Regina.  How I have come to love the hospitality, friendliness and promptness of our home airport.  A quick jolt over to Calgary, not a problem for a well traveled vet, I laughed this trip off, as I even got an extra seat to myself.

Calgary airport is nice, I have been there so much that ot can be considered a second home, the good memories mixed with the bad memories, but all in all we still remain close acquaintances.  I now have 5 hours before boarding my flight to Amsterdam, so I sit down and watch Nazi Hunters on netflix, at this point, the fresh level is still at a high level and I am focusing on keeping my body refreshed and ready for a long trip.

As I settle in, I start to rethink my life.  It has been an amazing ride, full of travel, worldly friends and new experiences.  Including this experience, as I would have never fathomed being a facilitator in Northern Sweden for Sami rights, still does not feel real.  However, i also start to slip into a slight depression as I think of my lost love, the break up and my move from Belgium back to Saskatchewan.  I message her on facebook, the sad ex-boyfriend message, wondering why things turned out the way they did, but truly knowing I am more then partly to blame.

Every time I travel to Europe, I think of her, the beauty she possesses, the influence she had in my life, how I long for her touch, the chance to see her and be with her.  However, the thought of never knowing her thoughts leaves me filled with doubt.  Has she moved passed it, does she wonder about me? will I ever see her again?  When will she meet a new person, one that will provide her the missing piece of her life that I somehow could not.  Will this individual thank me for providing them an opportunity to meet the most loyal, trusting, honest and wonderful person in the world.  Future dude, I expect at least a "pintje stella".  

Suddenly sound breaks through my life altering train of thought and interrupts my sub-conscious with a call for me to head to gate 44, apparently they need to talk to me.  They provide me the missing boarding card to navigate through Amsterdam, so I can get to Stockholm.

As the people gather like a pack of hungry lions fighting over the last scrap of meat, we start to get on the plane.  However, a customs agent pulls me aside and asks me where I am going, what I am doing, how much Euros do I have, etc - the mini-interrogation lasts a brief moment, but a passenger behind me states that they are totally profiling people.  It must have been my army style shorts, hiking boots with bright neon laces, striped blue party shirt and my backpack accompanied by airplane neck pillow - I have been targeted a wild risk (Cool).

I am seated at the back of the plane beside this lady with crying babies all around us, needless to say, the accent of the Stewardess reminded me of many friends I have met in Belgium and The Netherlands. I try to sleep, but this is an impossible task, airplanes appear to be the most uncomfortable place to rest in the world.   I struggle to get a few hours, but decide to watch movies starting with a classic (The Hangover).

After 8 hours and 10 minutes I arrive in Amsterdam, what a familiar feeling.  I have been here many times before for parties with friends, but naturally the first time was 6.5 years ago with her, as we toured Ann Frank's house, Madame Tousseau and enjoyed the culture of Amsterdam.  However, this time I will only see the airport, but I do manage to speak some Dutch and some German, as the customs guard questioned me in German in the EU line based on my passport. He snickered as his German was far superior to mine.

After 2 hours of waiting and the fresh level entering dangerous proportions, I am finally boarding to head to Stockholm.  I have been to Stockholm before, again with her, but also with some friends, I remember very little from the 2008 visit, but I do remember the Swedish party boat that took us over night to Tallinn Estonia.

After a 2 hour flight where I am crammed in between two people, I am at a dangerous level of freshness, fatigue is running through my body, I am over tired, now I understand sleep deprivation on soldiers and admire their strength for fighting through it, I just want to sleep in my bed right now.  However, i still have 4 hours till boarding time and then a 1 and a half hour flight to Vilhelmina in the North of Sweden, then my friend Per Jonas will pick me up and take me to Saxnis, not sure if even Swedish people know where this is, so do not know how much time I must be in the car.

Traveling alone is not an easy task, having someone to converse with, watch your stuff, keep your mind fresh, bounce ideas off of is fantastic, the loneliness of these long flights is wearing me down.  In the past, my reason for flying to Europe and living here for 3 years was to see her, but since Geneva (Feb) and Sweden (Present), the lonely travel is becoming a tad bit more difficult.

Roy "the overtired"